PB&J Craving

It's PMS time, which is equivalent to odd craving time for me. My yearning this week was for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Well, I don't care for jelly. I actually opted for strawberry preserves. I've been promising my dearest Brandon a home-cooked meal. Well, today his wish came true. I toasted the bread and presented him with the sandwich. In my book, if it's hot, it's considered cooked. Being the wise man that he is, Brandon acted as if he was rather impressed by my cooking skills. At any rate, it's back to the salads tomorrow. I can't wait!

Diva Gathering

You would think that with the arrival of the New Year, someone obsessed with food and weight would have made a resolution to eat healthier, lose X pounds, or start a fitness routine. Well, that would just be waaaay to predictable for me. Not only have I not been fixating on my weight, I've actually been eating anything and everything in sight! Nonetheless, my craving has not yet been satisfied. What in the hee haw is wrong with me?

Yesterday was our Diva Gathering and as usual, we ate and ate and ate. Molly's significant other made the most delicious chicken wings that have ever entered my mouth. I must have eaten at least ten wings! Then, there was the cheese ball that managed to roll it's way onto my plate. I couldn't get enough of the spinach, artichoke with Parmesan cheese dip which I spread on sweet Italian bread . Even Symone's (the world's worst pasta maker in the Tri State area) spaghetti found its way onto my plate. I am certain that I came thisclose to an all out carbohydrate overdose! The Diva's request for Morgasms did not necessarily fall on deaf ears. I supplied the next best thing to a Morgasm, chocolate banana cream pie drizzled with chocolate syrup made fresh at Costco. No, it was not made with love. Yet, it was purchased with complete adoration. After all, I LOVE COSTCO and I love my Divas! (Divas, notice that I didn't say, "I like parties that never end, I like twins!!!")

To Digest or Not to Digest

Ok. I've been stressed lately. My Love has essentially kicked me to the curb. As usual, my natural response to stress is to practice avoidance by fixating on anything other than what initially triggered the stress. So... back to old habits and obsessions.

Food Check:

Jewels: Two tablespoons of tuna (blended with lemon juice and New England beans) and five pickle chips (30 calories).

Tammie: I would lie and say that I did healthy, but I didn't. I had a Big Boy, fries with tartar sauce, and a cherry coke from Frisch's.

Symone: I had 8 chicken tenders from Burger King with onion rings. I ate very last tender and every last ring. I had water to go with it though. There, that was healthy enough?

Jewels: Sooo NOT healthy, Symone. You had deep fried with a side of deep fried!

Symone: I was rewarding myself for losing weight.

Jewels: There are better ways to reward yourself. Food should never be considered a reward.

Symone: I know…

Mollie: Salad with chicken. And water. Healthy.
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Before I got back to my desk, I had to grab my Pepsi and Lays Chips… ummmmmmmmmmmm… I tried to be healthy.

Jewels: Tammie, you are so lucky that your boyfriend works with you. I’ve had sooooo much caffeine today. It’s made me incredibly aroused. It’s a weird side effect. Sadly, I have no outlet.

Tammie: LMAO. Lunch time is the greatest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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My New Friend:

Adam: Spaghetti O's, Teddy Grahams, and Pretzels.

Of course, this meal is totally unacceptable. Tomorrow, I will be packing lunch for him tomorrow which will consist of two tablespoons of my famous tuna and five pickle spears. And no, he CAN NOT eat breakfast! By the end of the week, he may regret befriending me.

Shut 'Em Down

Last night I came to the conclusion that I am going a bit too far with this whole food obsession / weigh loss thing. I decided that it was for the best that I shut this blog down for it encourages my obsession. But today, I went and did it again. I stepped on the scale. To my surprise, I discovered that I am two pounds down from yesterday. Two pounds! Ok. I can’t stop now. I have to keep blogging. I have to keep focusing. I need to lose more weight!

Pissed

I just weighed myself and discovered that I've gained a pound!!! I am so pissed off. I have been trying to keep my body healthy by forcing myself to eat for nourishment, even when I didn't want the food in the first place. So much for listening to My Love. I should have held out until it was absolutely necessary for me to eat.

I was so freaked out and pissed off after weighing myself that I decided it was time to go back to ******* ** *******, which I did. Now I have a pounding headache out of this world! I always forget about the headaches. All I want to do is lose 18 pounds, is that too much to ask?!?!? I hate fat. I hate calories. I hate food.

Getting Back on Track

Jewels: Divas, what have you had in your mouths today?

Tammie: I went to Captain D's. I ordered fish and fries. I only ate the fish.

Symone: I had a McChicken sandwich and fries. The fries were cold by the time I got to eat though. That was my first time having a McChicken. It was good!


Jewels: Symone, I love you so I am going to put this as gently as possible. You are falling into your old unhealthy eating habits. What happened to the lose weight or die trying attitude that I so admired?


Symone: It all went out the door the day the scale told me I weighed 179! It's no longer about losing weight. It's about toning up my Under Belly and being healthy so I live a long life and don't die of a heart attack at 31.


Jewels: Symone, you have to get back on track! I will help you. Please, start counting calories, bites, and chews. I don’t want you to give up or give in. Trust me when I tell you that toning is not enough! It's never enough!


Symone: I refuse to be like that. I will continue to watch my portion sizes, cut back on fried foods, and exercise. If I lose weight, I do. If I don't, I don't. Now, I'm not going to go crazy and eat a ton of calories, just because that's not healthy for me. But I'm not going to go calorie crazy either. I have to have curves. I'm turning into a hottie ;)

Jewels: Symone, with all due respect, if you are indulging in Jr. Whoppers with cheese and McChicken sandwiches, you are not eating healthy.

Symone: You have a point. You are so right. I will drink an extra 64 ounces of water tonight to cleanse my system. I'm thinking of having at least one day a week where I only eat fruits and vegetables to cleanse my system. I thought about fasting once a week...but I'm still a big girl, I can't do that yet.

Jewels: I just think it is important that we keep our focus. You felt so good about the fact that you were losing weight. If you were to gain it back, you may feel like a failure.

Symone: I thought about it, and you are right.

New Obsession

Tammie: Good morning ladies! Has was everyone's weekend? J, how was the new Meijer?

Jewels: I was at Meijer’s for two hours! They had some great deals. Strawberry Mini Wheats were 3/$5.00. Johnsonville Brats 2/$5.00. (They now make turkey cheddar brats, so of course, that is what I bought.) Dole salad mix was buy one get / one free. Angel brand tissue (which I don't particularly care for) was half price. They ran out, so I got a rain check.

Symone: Mini Wheats are awful! Didn't I just tell you I got tired of chewing after eating just five of them? I saw a commercial this weekend that says they have 8 layers of wheat. You have to be a freakin' vampire to chew through 8 layers of wheat!

Jewels: Ironically, someone else said the exact same thing to me this morning. Well, actually it wasn’t nearly as illustrated, but the meaning was same thing. She said that she couldn’t swallow, not chew, but swallow Mini Wheats. When I told her that she was bizarre, she threatened to touch me! She knows that I get uneven if I am not touched symmetrically!

Symone: You need HELP.

Jewels: WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THAT?

Tammie: BECAUSE YOU DO!! You are too obsessed with so many things. ******* ********** ********** *** ******** *** ******* *** * * ***** *******.

Symone: OMG, ********* ************ ********** **************** *********** ************ *********** ************************* ************** **********

Jewels: In all seriousness, I truly resent being compared to * ******** *****.

Tammie, *** ****** * * **** ******** ***** *** ** ***** *** *** *. ** ** *****. ******* **, ********.

Symone: **** ***** *** ** ***** ******. ***** **** ***** ** * ******* *** *** *** ******** ***** **. ************** *** ****** *** ****** *** **** *** *** ***

Ok, here is my new obsession - soft skin. I am addicted to it. I just went and bought some lip stuff on my lunch break because I didn’t think my lips were soft enough. Jewels, guess what I got? Blistex Lip Medex! You got me hooked on that stuff years ago! I love the tingly feeling! I also bought a hand pampering set from Mary Kay. It makes your hands incredibly soft. I need to get more body scrub so I can exfoliate my skin. I love it when my legs are smooth! I think I'm in love with myself! Or maybe just obsessed with my skin. Jewels, you have definitely made me crazy over the years. I was never crazy until you.

Jewels: I would sooner try meth than touch Blistex again! That stuff is ADDICTIVE! It took a long time for me to break free of that addiction. Be careful, Symone! Use sparingly.

And yes, you are in love with yourself, which includes your skin. And yes, I admit that I have contributed to you being a little on the crazy side.

Symone: It's very addictive. The tingle is gone, so I'm about to put more on. It's addictive, but it works. As long as I don't look like I smeared Crisco on my mouth, I'll be ok.

Jewels: Don’t do it, Symone. Pace yourself!

Symone: Too late.

Jewels: You really need to try to get control of this today.

To Sleep Perchance to Eat

My Friday's breakfast consisted of fruit (refused to count the how many slices of fruit), hot tea (no sugar), and water.

For lunch, one slice of veggie pizza from LaRosa's, salad with Honey French dressing.

Admittedly, I felt extremely guilty for eating both the pizza and the high calorie dressing. To make matters even worse, Amber's step-daughter offered me a cookie! There was no way in hee haw that I deserved a cookie after such a fattening lunch. However, I didn't want to appear to be a complete nut, so I reluctantly shared an oatmeal raisin cookie with the young one.

I planned on going out to dinner with My Love; however, the distance between us made me not want to dine or even eat at all. Weight loss tip #44, when you are hungry but do not want to consume calories, pop a sleeping pill and take a nap. If you are extremely lucky, you may dream of eating. Unfortunately, I did not.

My Love woke me at 9:30 pm insisting that I eat dinner. Of course, I said that I wasn't hungry, rolled over and went back to sleep. Approximately a half hour later, "Wake up. You need to eat something." My Love had left home and gone to pick me up dinner. I was mortified! My Love chose one of the highest calorie dinners that I could imagine: a Chicken Philly Sandwich with onion rings!!! My Love is so calculating. I could not refuse a meal after My Love had taken the effort to actually leave the house and pick up dinner. Also, to make the food appear less intimidating, My Love only placed half the sandwich on my plate with three onion rings, no ketchup. Because I don't care for onion rings, I ate them first. (Psycho tip # 26, always save a bite of what you enjoy most for last. It ensures that you end your meal with a good taste in your mouth.) I then slowly ate my half of the chicken sandwich. Although it was delicious, I would have preferred to remain asleep so that I could have spared my body the unnecessary calories.

At any rate, I've been doing much better the past two weeks with not obsessing on my weight; however, my menstrual cycle has had such a negative effect on my body and self image. I've been so bloated these past few days that My Love actually suggested that I take "something" to help with the problem. Heck, gotta love honesty. At any rate, it's been at least two weeks since I've ****** ** *******. Once my period has ended, I may resume. Not permanently, just temporarily.

Here is what others had for lunch today:

Amber: Pizza and salad. I'm not sure how many slices she ate. Probably just one. Actually, she can afford to eat two slices. I wish I had her body.

Symone: Jr. Whopper. My ADD is preventing me from remember exactly how it was prepared or what accompanied the burger.

Tammie: She almost cried because her "friend" surprised her with lunch from Frisch's. He ordered her a Big Boy sandwich, minus the middle bun. He asked to substitute the regular bun for a rye bun and American cheese for Swiss. She also had fries and a cherry coke. Tammie was touched and almost in tears that Tim cared enough to notice and retain exactly how she liked her food prepared.

Personally, I would have been touched too. Anyone who takes the time and initiative to memorize your food preferences and ensured that it is prepared to your liking truly cares. I would suggest you keep him or her around indefinitely.